Cancer, you are one stupid piece of DNA

Jennifer Bunker CRS GRI
Utah Real Estate Broker

Communication That Matters

I so badly want to sit down with another person who has cancer, look into their eyes and have a meaty, meaningful discussion about their experience. I am so sick of the platitudes and the nonsense things that some people and the media say about what is happening to us and how we should deal with it. Is there a real discussion out there?

Jennifer Bunker CRS GRI
Utah Real Estate Broker

The Problem With Pinkwashing and Other Corporately Sponsored Cancer Events

I want to briefly express my concern over a couple of issues. I've provided links that will help you do your own research, should you be interested:

Pinkwashing. Defined as a company who prominently displays the breast cancer pink ribbon all over their products and in advertising, and then sells products with one or more component in them that have been linked to cancer. This is why I personally place little personal importance in the ever-present pink ribbon campaign. Somehow, corporations have managed to take a once-good idea and twist it around for their own financial gain based upon an emotional trigger. This REALLY irritates me.

I wanted to provide that brief definition of pinkwashing because I will discuss pinkwashing in a future post. Here is some more in-depth information about the concept in case you are interested:

* A good blog entry on the subject by Anne Landman (scroll down a bit once you get there)

* Think Before You Pink - watchdog organization started in 2002

* A "Pinkwashing" Google search for more information

Another concern. Big deal walks (and other events) like the Susan G. Komen "3-Day for the Cure." Again, a great idea that I am wondering about. Has it become overly corporately directed as well? I have avoided these events in the past because I am not sure where the money raised is going, or what percentage goes where. Can Google help me find this information out? Yes, of course. Today I am musing over my general concern about this type of bigger-than-life stuff that goes on in raising money for "cures" but in reality may provide profit streams for something other than research or a cure. Because of my hesitation over this, in the past I have avoided these types of events and instead chosen to donate my money to a place where I know FOR SURE the money goes directly to the cause I want.

A related example: The Jerry Lewis Telethons. Now, please understand that I do not know anything about these. They seem to have been doing good work for decades. But common sense begs the question, "These telethons have raised 1.6 billion dollars since their inception in 1966 (43 years ago) towards finding a cure for Muscular Dystrophy. Is there some kind of cure or progress in sight in 2010? Where is all that money going anyway?" C'mon, I'm just asking! Aren't you wondering, too?

* According to Google, the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon debate rages on, make your own conclusions

* Susan G Komen Wiki

* Susan G Koman Spending Scores High Marks - AllBusiness.com

* Google Susan G Komen

The reason for this blog post? Next post: After much thinking and research, I've overcome my hesitations and decided to participate in a Susan G Komen 3-Day.

Peace and love, Jen

Jennifer Bunker CRS GRI
Utah Real Estate Broker

Secrets of the Sick Kid

Been thinking lately about extending an apology to a group of people who I admire and respect very much, the South Ogden City Planning Commission.

In December 2007, I went through an interview process and to my delight, was appointed to serve on the Commission by Mayor Garwood for a 4-year stint starting in February of 2008.

It was just a couple of months after the appointment that I learned I had breast cancer. A lot of "stuff" happens to a person when you learn that, not the least of which is the process of telling your friends, family, colleagues and clients the news.

As I have blogged before, this was excruciatingly difficult for me. I ended up hoping that people would tell other people, thereby sparing me the duty of having to inform others of the situation. I really despised that part of cancer, but there was one other part I hated even more. After the news got out, everywhere I went, I was now the "sick kid."

People want to be kind and caring, and they are. I was blessed. But sometimes all I wanted was somewhere to go where my illness wasn't the focus. Somewhere where I was the same as everybody else, where my illness wasn't the start of every conversation, where if the subject of "boobs" came up, there wasn't a sudden awkward silence because mine were sick (or eventually absent).

So, towards this end, I never told the other Commissioners that I was struggling with cancer. I stubbornly attended the monthly meetings in various points of disarray. I was truly a hot mess that year ... often disheveled, distant, muddled, medicated ... but I was always there. And I wasn't the sick kid. I wasn't the sick kid because they didn't know that I was sick.

I can't tell you how much it means to me that I was able to keep a sense of "normalcy" in that one special place. Now that I have blogged this, I'll have to fess up to the Commissioners at the next meeting. I don't know how they will react. Probably with disbelief and disappointment that I didn't confide in them. I hope that I can make them understand how much it meant to me not to.

I didn't like being the sick kid. To me, that is a state of mind that I didn't subscribe to. I was the well kid who was taking on a temporary health project. But I believe that others unknowingly can contribute to making you "sick" by thinking of you that way and I didn't want that. I am forever grateful to the SOCPL for giving me a place to continue to be the oddly disheveled WELL kid.

Peace and love, Jen

Jennifer Bunker CRS GRI
Utah Real Estate Broker