How to Tell People 101

Damn! I've misplaced my "How To Tell Your Family, Close Friends, Acquaintances, Clients, Neighbors, and Others That You Have Cancer" manual again.

I hate it when that happens.

A quick little primer:

Family: Share immediately. This is a good opportunity to cry and get it all out. Get it all out here because you'll need to regain your strength for ...

Close Friends: Share the news as you have the energy to do so because these folks won't take it well. You will want to make sure you call them personally (no email, snail mail, Morse code, note in a bottle, etc.). From your mouth to their ears. Make it your business to call them before they hear it from somebody else because you would want the same from them. Ask these people to kindly share the news with ...

Acquaintances: People who you love but don't talk to on a regular basis. This is where the news will spread like wildfire due to little or no effort on your part. Places like your work, the gym, the church choir, the guys in the prison yard, and your Bag Hoarder's Support Group will all know in .2 seconds flat if you let somebody else tell it for you. This will leave you with some energy to figure out how to tell your ...

Clients: This is a tough one. My business, Real Estate, is an unforgiving line of work where I need to be available 24/7. If my clients think that I am too sick to be out working with them, then my (considerable) medical bills don't get paid. Even more importantly, I want to work to feel connected and stay useful as I journey back to wellness. For now I am opting to not say anything about it to the clients. If I ever arrive to meet a client while attached to an IV pole, then maybe I'll have to explain. Until then, nada. This brings us to ...

Neighbors and Others: I adore my dear neighbors. They are last on the list because I know that they will the most forgiving. Others include people like the nice policeman who pulls you over for speeding. I read in c blogs that sharing that you have cancer with these types is commonly called using the "c-card." I guess cancer is good for something after all.

I know that some people prefer not to say anything except to close family. Completely understandable and that gets my full support. For me, I appreciate the prayers, resources and good wishes that come my way from my extended support group. In fact, they've become my manna.

Paix to all, Jen